Diffusion

Sipping from the glass.
Can’t remember the last time my lips touched something so delicate.
Cheeks the same shade as the rosé I'm drinking.
Watching the vinyl spin around like leaves fall from the trees.
Music fills the empty spaces in the room.
Lately that’s been everywhere.
A split of a second, a blink of an eye.
Changing moods like I’m changing clothes.
Introspective, retrospective.
Guitars echo off the walls like thoughts reverberating around my mind.
Memories are just a mirror of the past and I’ve never liked my reflection.
Too many details.

Wine swirls around in the glass as I pour it.
Constantly lost between lust and love.
Constantly re-evaluating what’s already dead.
Self-defeating empathy.
I see everything because I have nothing.
But I’m a different boy now.
Or at least a different projection.
Learning how to be confident on my own.
Re-defining my self-image.
Physically, mentally, emotionally.
Getting caught up in the material things.
Gotta take a step back and see the bigger picture.

Waking up.
The glass is empty now.
Cigarette smoke on my fingertips.
Taste of morning regret on my breath.
Eyelids as heavy as my heart.
Let the shower run, shroud myself in the steam.
Open my pores and let it all out.